Connection Matters…
The connection that matters most to a child’s healthy development is the one she has with her parent(s) or primary caregiver. Beginning with the first time you cuddle your little one through to his high school graduation, this bond allows a child to feel secure, loved and valued.
Along with providing the basics of life, as parents we must also understand our child as a unique individual navigating our complex world. Giving a vocabulary and voice to our children’s feelings is a vital part of parenting. The following are true for all children, but may be expressed in various ways.
What your child is saying to you: |
What you can do: |
“Show me that I matter to you.” |
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| Be someone I can trust. | Be dependable |
| Really pay attention when we are together. | Listen |
| Make me feel known & valued. | Believe in me |
| Show me you enjoy being with me. | Be warm |
| Praise me for my efforts & achievements. | Encourage |
“Push me to keep getting better.” |
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| Expect me to live up to my potential. | Expect my best |
| Push me to go further. | Stretch |
| Insist I take responsibility for my actions. | Hold me accountable |
| Help me learn from mistakes & setbacks. | Reflect on failures |
“Help me complete tasks and achieve goals.” |
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| Guide me through hard situations and systems. | Navigate |
| Build my confidence to take charge of my life. | Empower |
| Defend me when I need it. | Advocate |
| Put in place limits that keep me on track. | Set boundaries |
“Treat me with respect and give me a say.” |
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| Take me seriously and treat me fairly. | Respect me |
| Involve me in decisions that affect me. | Include me |
| Work with me to solve problems and reach goals. | Collaborate |
| Create opportunities for me to take action and lead. | Let me lead |
“Connect me with people and places that broaden my world.” |
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| Inspire me to see possibilities for my future. | Inspire |
| Expose me to new ideas, experiences, and places. | Broaden horizons |
| Introduce me to people who can help me develop & thrive…. | Be a Connector for me! |
From The Developmental Relationships Framework
by The Search Institute www.search-institute.org
Creating a safe space where mutual respect and cooperation leads to a peaceful home can be a reality.
